


The Hearth Witch's Guide to Practical Magic

by snowglobes



Series: it's called black magic [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Dragons, Epistolary, Gen, Hearth Witch Junmyeon, M/M, Necromancy, Relationship Advice, Sorcerers, Supernatural Elements, Werewolves, Witches, black sorcerer yoongi, this is basically a dear abby column in exo format and if there was magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowglobes/pseuds/snowglobes
Summary: Sincerely,Suho
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho & Everyone, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Everyone, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Undisclosed, Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Park Chanyeol, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga
Series: it's called black magic [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/828699
Comments: 58
Kudos: 31





	1. Singed Relationship

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of my brain not shutting up when I'm trying to sleep. I've got no idea where this is going, other than supplementing the au of this series but there will be pairings and romance eventually...once i figure out how to do it in a format restricted to letters lmao. I have another story for this universe in the works, as it was far too dear for me to not tinker with more. For now, this story is a light T, with some fun world building and fluff.

Hi Suho!

First time writer, haven’t read your column ever if I’m honest, but my mom said it’s really good and I am in need of assistance.

Do you happen to have a spell that’s good at getting singe marks out of clothes? Don’t tell my boyfriend but I was practicing a quick-dry spell on our laundry and I might have accidentally singed one of his favorite shirts. He’s explicitly banned me from using my fire magic in the house, but it was a simple spell! And practical! He loves practical spells and I was going to surprise him with this one…except now I can’t because I’m afraid of what he’ll say if he sees this shirt and that I’ve ruined my relationship.

Any advice would be welcome.

Sincerely,

Potentially Single

Dear Potentially Single,

Ah, the foibles of magic within relationships! I do indeed have a spell to help you out. In order to remove evidence of fire magic, you’ll want to obtain frostflower and make a basic cleansing potion, only replacing the commonly used scourgewort with frostflower. Follow all other directions as usual and apply the potion to the singed area. It should clear up in an hour!

As for your boyfriend, an apology never hurts, and I’m sure that he’d be touched at your attempt to be helpful, even if it was not entirely successful.

Sincerely,

Suho

Dear Suho,

Thank you for your advice on keeping bleeding hearts alive! They’re far less bloody now, and only drip when I forget and water them with plain water instead of bottled tears. You would think that as a hedge witch I would have known that, but I’m trying to grow species that my neighbor can’t accidentally kill (I think he’s a necromancer) and I thought these were a good start.

Sincerely,

Bleeding Heart Witch

Dear Bleeding Heart,

Thanks for the update! I’m glad to hear my solution worked.

A necromancer, you say? That’s a rare form of magic we don't see very often. There’s a sorcerer who runs an apothecary downtown who might be able to offer you some hearty seeds to grow. He’s well acquainted with the darker forms of magic. You can tell him Suho sent you.

Sincerely,

Suho

***

 _Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._


	2. A Shifty Conundrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new question, more replies to old questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! welcome back. I'm so thrilled at the interest in this small project! These chapters are incredibly fun to write and great when i'm burned out on my bigger, longer projects. Yes, i've been reading old examples of Dear Abby columns no i don't want to talk about it.
> 
> enjoy!

Suho,

I don’t know why I’m writing because I’m not magical and I’m not even sure magic is real or if this column is an elaborate gag or what. But I think—and I cannot believe I’m saying this—my neighbor is a werewolf? Do those even exist??

He’s a really nice guy but a bit odd. He runs all the time, but it’s usually at night. There are a lot of younger men who are always hanging around/living at his house and I heard one call him ‘leader’ the other day. Also, whenever I go outside and they’re all outside they stare at me like I’m a deer they’ve been tracking.

It’s starting to really freak me out, but I’ve barely spoken two words to my neighbor and I’m not sure what to do here and I refuse to move.

I was here first.

Sincerely,

Skeptical

Dear Skeptical,

Wow! You’ve certainly gotten yourself into an interesting situation! We don’t talk about shifters all that often in the magical community. Since we’re supposed to be keeping a low profile, most magic users pretend shifters don’t exist. But I can confirm to you that they’re real and very good at staying unnoticed. If you think your neighbor is a shifter—and it sounds like he is from what you’ve told me—you’re probably in the safest possible place.

I know you mentioned feeling watched, but shifters are very territorial and they likely consider your home under their protection. Especially if your neighbor who owns the house next to yours is friendly with you. My advice is to keep being nice to your neighbor (as we all should). There’s nothing better than a shifter’s protection (except maybe a light witch’s protection wards), so go about your normal life and rest easy in the knowledge that you’re in the safest possible place.

I definitely recommend staying.

Sincerely,

Suho

To: Potentially Single

I can’t believe you wrote to Suho for advice on fixing my favorite shirt. Maybe love isn’t dead after all. You’re so dumb.

Sincerely,

Your Besotted Boyfriend

To: Bleeding Heart

Any updates on your necromancer neighbor? Is he cute? I only ask because I _also_ have a necromancer for a neighbor and I’m wondering if it’s the same one. Mine speaks Chinese. Does yours have a familiar?

Sincerely,

Curiosity killed the Jun

***

_Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been doing some thinking on this au and decided that if anyone would like to send suggestions of questions to write to suho, you're welcome to send them to my ask on tumblr! While some of the people/ships are already taking shape, i am open to much suggestion and ideas, so feel free to chime in. Links below <3
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://mysoulrunswithwolves.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_xKikix)


	3. Powerful Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi makes an appearance, readers chime in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> local fic writer gets overly invested in a project that was supposed to be "for fun" and not take away from her other projects

Suho,

Thanks for the shout-out to my shop. I’ve had to hire my apprentice’s boyfriend to help out because of all the new business we’ve had. It’s been nice to help magical customers for once, instead of naturalists looking for crystals to heal them.

But I do actually need advice. My best friend will be returning soon from studying with dragons in the Appalachians. He’s made some really good friends there, and he’s even planning on bringing a few of them back with him (yikes, dragon magic), but I’ve failed to tell him that I have a boyfriend now.

The only reason this is a problem, is because we agreed to date when he got back if we were both still single (we were childhood sweethearts before we came into our magic). I’m a coward and used the excuse of wanting to tell him about the bf in person as a reason why I didn’t tell him in our letters. But now it’s either that or deal with my emotions and magic causing trouble if I tell him face to face.

How do I tell him?

Sincerely,

A Black Sorcerer with Too Many Emotions

Dear Black Sorcerer,

Oh dear! This is quite the sticky situation. For readers unfamiliar with black magic, allow me to explain why our poor sorcerer is so mired in their problem.

Black magic is the only form that draws its power from emotions. Considering our writer has deep feelings for their current boyfriend, and also fond feelings for their best friend, the solution here might not be as easy as my usual advice of open and honest communication. While normally face to face would be best, considering your magic, I suggest writing him a letter before he arrives. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic reveal, it can be a simple mention of your boyfriend as you talk about your day. I think that might help to minimize any accidental spell work when you do see each other again.

I’m happy to hear that your store is doing well! It’s one of my favorites to visit.

Sincerely,

Suho

To: Curiosity

My necromancer does have a familiar, but he doesn’t speak Chinese. And…yeah. He’s cute. Really cute. But I haven’t seen him in a while, and he doesn’t come outside that much. I’m starting to get worried. He seems sad when I do catch a glimpse of him.

Bleeding Heart

To: Skeptical

If your neighbor is inclined to more wolfish pursuits, you might want to get a lunar calendar app or something of the like. I know a few shifters and while they’re generally not dangerous, it _is_ good to know where the moon is at during the month. Sometimes shifters, (wolves especially) get grumpy around the new moon and whenever the moon is waxing. They don’t like when it’s not shining in the sky. Might help you know when to best approach (or skirt around) your neighbor.

Overly-invested Reader

***

 _Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._


	4. A Mountain of Worries

Hi Suho,

You helped my dumb boyfriend the other day, and while he did successfully remove the singe mark, he did not realize that I regularly read your column and thus already knew what he’d done ^^.

We’re about to move to a new city, following a friend, and while the boyfriend is very excited, I’m less so. It’s hard to be excited when you’re an ice dragon moving away from the cold and isolated mountains to the very much…not isolated city. One of our mage friends who had been studying magic with us in the Appalachians is helping us move, so we have friends and a place to stay already, but I’m still nervous. Any advice for two elemental dragons trying to survive in the big city?

Hopefully,

Besotted Boyfriend 

Dear Besotted,

I’m so glad you wrote in! I think I speak for many of my readers when I say your relationship is very cute (I read all the letters they send in, they’re very enthusiastic).

I don’t think you need to be nervous. Yes, us magical folk are supposed to live under the radar and yes, it’s harder for dragons to do that, but this city is very welcoming and friendly. Especially since you’re moving with a support system already in place. Once you get settled, you can worry about widening your net, but focus on the security you have right now. That, and the magical community in this city is very tightly knit.

We all look out for each other.

Sincerely,

Suho

To: Bleeding Heart

Oh no! Mine was also pretty reclusive for a while. But I took him a sturdy plant (star jasmine ivy, I’m a plant witch) and he hasn’t killed her yet! The plant seems to be helping, too. The longer he keeps her alive the more his confidence grows. I think necromancers just feel lonely because they’re used to everything dying. Maybe yours needs something he can keep alive?

Curiosity

To: Curiosity killed the Jun

You do realize that you used your real name, and that we get the same newspaper, right? Don’t you also speak Chinese? I could’ve sworn I heard you whispering in Chinese to your plants.

Sincerely,

Curiosity’s neighbor

To: Black Sorcerer

You haven’t told Hobi about me!? Babe, come on, we talked about this it’s going to be fine you big baby. Worst thing that happens is you curse him like you did me, and that worked out pretty well for us, huh?

Baking King

***

 _Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._


	5. Little Red's Revelation

Hi Suho,

Never thought I’d be writing to you twice but I have another question and nobody magical (that I know of) to ask. You seem like something of an expert, so here goes:

Do werewolves like the color red? I was wearing a red hoodie the other day and saw my neighbor (the wolfy one) out on a run (I’m telling you he has SO much energy). I waved to him, because I’m trying to be friendly like you said, and he _tripped and fell over when he saw me._

It seems like an extreme reaction. My friends have told me before that I’m cute, but I don’t think I’m _that_ cute, so it must have been the red? I had the hood up so maybe he didn’t realize it was me?

Sincerely,

Skeptical (in red)

Dear Skeptical,

Ah, the Little Red syndrome (my editor laughed at me for that phrase, but it’s true so it stays). While most wolf shifters would deny it, red does have an effect on them. It differs from shifter to shifter, but most of the time they find themselves drawn to the color. Not unlike a bull charging toward a matador’s red flag—although with less deadly intent, perhaps.

What it comes down to, I suspect, is if you want to keep getting the attention of your neighbor, keep wearing that red hoodie. It won’t take him long to start sniffing around.

Sincerely,

Suho

*

To: Curiosity

Thank you for the advice! I took him a plant (a hearty, night-blooming jasmine) and he does seem to be perking up a bit. I chose lady-of-the-night because he’s so often up doing his spell work at night and I wanted something beautiful to keep him company. Thank you for your help with my necromancer, and I wish you luck with yours (although it looks like he’s already aware of your dilemma).

Bleeding Heart

To: Besotted Boyfriend

Please don’t worry about moving to the city! I know it’s a big change from the quiet of the mountains, but the magical community is so large and accepting these days. We’re even talking about necromancers in the newspaper now, so the world has come a long way. Besides, I’ve heard too many good things about you from our mutual friend, so I’m looking forward to meeting you.

Black Sorcerer

***

_Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._


	6. A Wolf's Wish

Dear Suho,

I have a pretty big problem, and I'm not sure if you can help, but here goes.

My neighbor is cute. Very cute. What’s worse, is that he has a tendency to wear red and it’s really starting to cause problems for me personally. But he’s definitely human and I’m…not. I want to ask him out but I don’t know how to do that when it’s so clear I’m not ‘normal’? I also don’t want to hurt him because he seems really sweet and nice. I don’t want to burden him with an entire world he doesn’t know about and besides, I’m not exactly what you would consider safe for humans.

Sincerely,

Shifty

Shifty,

Taking a wild guess here, but you probably don’t regularly read my column, do you? [Editor’s note: Suho snickered to himself as he wrote that. He thinks he’s funny.]

Relax, shifty. Based on your penname I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what kind of supernatural you are, so my advice is this: if you feel in control of yourself, ask him out! He doesn’t need to know you’re not human until a few dates in (I’d say that’s more of a fifth date topic), so see if there’s even chemistry before you reveal the magical world to him. If you continue to feel in control around him and things go well, slowly introduce him to our world.

He might end up surprising you.

Sincerely,

Suho

To: Skeptical

Oh boy, red to wolves is like catnip to cats. I think your neighbor is going to become very interested in you soon. Hopefully you think he’s cute. Take it from someone who is dating a wolf shifter, but they’re very cuddly and warm. I’ve never felt safer since I’ve started dating him (plus, the territorial instincts get a bad rap, they mostly just want people to respect their space) and he’s a very attentive boyfriend. Except for the one night a month when he goes a little cross-eyed.

Lu(pine) Lover

To: Bleeding Heart

Thank you for the flowers. They keep me company when I’m up late working, and they’re very beautiful.

If you have more night-blooming flowers, feel free to stop by. You’re always welcome.

Your Necromancer

***

_Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._


	7. A Dark Desire

Hi Suho,

I have a lot of questions for you. I’ve written and re-written this email to you a dozen times, and this is the best version I could come up with. Answer whatever you can.

I know you’ve had experience with necromancers before based on the letters you’ve answered previously, but for people like us, it can be hard to venture into the world of the living when all you’ve ever knowing is the taste of dirt and the cold of winter. How does a practitioner of the darkest powers live in the light? Is it possible?

From a young age, everything I’ve touched has slowly withered away. And so I developed my magic into something that could be useful, but I’ve always felt relegated to the shadows because of what I could do. And then I got a new neighbor, who boldly walked where the shadows couldn’t reach, and for whom everything bloomed with life. All I’ve ever felt is the chill of death, and he’s as warm as the summer sun. The pull was strong and undeniable, although I tried. Is it possible to be with him even if our magic is in direct opposition?

I guess the short of this, is how do I tell my neighbor I love him?

Bleeding Heart Necromancer

Dear Necromancer,

First of all, I’m giving you the biggest possible hug.

While the number of necromancers I know personally is much lower than any other type of magic user, I do know a few, and based on their experience with the world, my advice to you is: be brave. Stepping out of the shadows is contradictory to your nature, and the light can be blinding and overwhelming when all you’ve known is the dark, but there is a place in the world for you. It’s more than possible, and especially if your neighbor is as kind as I think he is, you won’t have to do it alone.

The beauty of polar opposites is that magic is, ultimately, a system of balance. Yin and yang are elements that only exist in a diametrically opposed whole. Two opposite, yet complementary forces, light and dark, unable to exist without the other. Not only is it possible, but it’s a powerful pairing, and I think the magic you could accomplish together would be incredible to behold.

So, to answer your last question, just tell him! Have courage, take a chance, and walk into the warmth. He’ll be there, waiting for you.

Sincerely,

Suho

To: Shifty

Good luck!! I’m sending you vibes of strength and bravery. I know it can be hard to put yourself out there and take a risk, but if it works out, you’ll be glad you did. I know I was when I finally worked up the nerve to ask my boyfriend out.

Singed Relationship

To: Shifty

Do it!! Ask him out!! I’m rooting for you buddy, and I have a feeling it’s all going to work out for the best.

Overly-invested Reader

**[Editor’s Note: Suho will probably stab me with his favorite fountain pen if he finds this, but I think it’s important to note that he spent an hour agonizing over whether he should print Necromancer’s letter in this week’s issue. He feared it was too personal for a public response and considered responding privately, but ultimately decided that the magical community needed to think about our most marginalized users. So, if anyone sends anymore mail complaining about this column’s focus on more marginalized magic, you will be roundly ignored. It’s important to shed light on those who see it the least often.]**

***

_Have a problem? Suho is here with answers! Write in your questions and concerns and he’ll do his best to help you with his knowledge of practical magic. Suho has been a practicing hearth witch for the last ten years, and when he’s not offering advice to those in need of it, he can be found tucked away in his cottage with a very feisty familiar and a large assortment of plants._

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will happen irregularly and as I have ideas for new columns. All the exos (ot12) will make appearances here, although they'll not be writing under their own names which is mostly fun for me and a puzzle for you :'))


End file.
